It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All the doctor said was why
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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