i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
