yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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