If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Plan B is the new Plan A
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
