fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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