Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
why is half of my head shaved?
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