So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
