Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We are all done wearing pants today
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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