no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
