Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support

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(302): View more from Delaware

I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.

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(574): View more from Indiana

he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

(513): View more from Ohio

its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

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(416): View more from Toronto

Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room

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(720): View more from Colorado

So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba

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