She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
