Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize