if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
