Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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