i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
