I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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