Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
