Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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