we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
