I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
