u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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