some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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