Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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