Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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