Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize