On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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