I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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