just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
