i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I love you.
Bad choice
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
