lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
