Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
