i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize