Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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