i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
