Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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