am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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