Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
