just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
