While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this boner is exhausting
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize