Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
