Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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