you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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