just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
