I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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