How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
