Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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