This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
