Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
