I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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