She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
