their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize