Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The adults are the big ones right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize