I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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