Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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