I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
