It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
