peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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