if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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