Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize