I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
