i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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