I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Houston, we have a squirter
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
