Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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