...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
