people are starting to question the shark bite story
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
