i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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