Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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