I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
