I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
