she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
