just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
