sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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