elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You are a genius and a whore.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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