JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
