seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
