so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
