We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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