i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
