I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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