I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
