someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
