im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Randomize
