Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
