she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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